Sutta =="
rolling paper 📃 … & … rolling tobacco 🍁
A software developer, he has taken a career break from his normal software routine. He is wanting to write short romantic stories. Just want to write down in his own words and own style. So he is there, sitting in a Mall near the AirPort, writing a short romantic story.
He, in his mind, “Yeh Laptop 💻 nahi hai, yeh meri Gun 🔫 hai. And my words are the Bullets 🚄. And I am fully loaded. Let's fire them. Let's do it baby, my AK47 Lappy!”
Ohhhhh ! and Yeah ! He is handsome and is stylish 🕵️♂️. Wearing a nice blue jeans and a full sleves round neck T …. With that, he is very sober, a descent guy and gentle in his appearance ………. Hhhmmmm ! But a cunning flirt 😜.
Smiling … laughing … and patting his own back … to himself … “Maaki Ki Aaakh ! Yeh kya kar diya tune aaj? Bhosadike, writer ban gaya tu.” He has just completed his first short romantic story.
And now, he is feeling like …. “Wallaahhh ! Phod dala mene aaj. Marco Polo ban gaya me toh !”
Now he has all the adrenaline of the world running through his blood. With that he thinks, “Sirf adrenaline nahi, bhai ko abhi Nicotine bhi mangta hai. Abhi ke abhi, bas. Mangta hai, to mangta hi hai.”
He goes to a Toilet, the most safe place to roll. Thinking in his mind, “Maal nahi to kya hua, aaj apun cigarette bhi rolling papper me hi piyega”.
So dosto …. thoda darpok toh hai apna banda. Maal nahi, sirf tobacco roll karna hai, aur phir bhi toilet me jaake roll kar raha hai.
So sitting on the Singhasan, without shitting, he pull out the rolling paper 📃 & ciggarate (for tobacco 🍂) from his bag.
And NOWWWWW ! He is thinking 💭 like the most famous scene of the Jailor from the movie Sholey !
💡 If you have not then please watch the Famous Jailor scene from Sholey on YouTube. So that you can enjoy the reading. |
Speaking to himself, by entering into the multiple characters as per the scene.
In his mind, while preparing for his best sutta,
“Rolling Paper bag se nikal gaya hai.”
“Ab nikalega tambakooo. Yeh nikali sigarate.”
The scene continues …
(Havaldar) “Attension !”
(Beeru) “Yeh, saali itanani badhiya writing kab si likhi jaane lagi?”
(Kaidi) “Beta tumhara aaj yeh sirf pehla din hai, sab (aur sabko) pata chal jayega.”
(Kaidi) “Naya writer bahot kadak hai.”
(Jay) “Likh raha hai.”
(Writer) Music playing in his mind, “🎵 Ta ta ta da da da da ! Ta ta ta da da da da ! 🎵 🎵 🎵 ”
(Writer) “Attension !”
(Writer) “Hum ne kaha attension!”
(Havaldar) “Bhosadike (Writer), tu to pehle se hi Toilet me hai? Ab kya kamode me ghusega? Chutiye !”
(Writer) “Ha Lundurrr … Hum janate hai! Hum janate hai!”
(Writer) “Padhanewalo, aakh khol ke padh lo. Hamare likhane se pehle jo bhi tum padh rahe the, woh ab tum nahi padh paaoge. No no no no no noooo!”
(Writer) “Hum angrejo ke jamane ke nahi, chutiyooo … aaj ke jamane ke Smoker (& Writer) hai. Ajj kal ke londo ki tarah nahi. Jo sigarate peete hue, khud ko sudharne ki lkoshish me rehte hai, aur kehte hai - Chodani Hai! … Ha Ha !”
(Writer) “Hum achchi tarah janate hai. Tum log kabhi cigarette nahi chod sakte ho.”
(Writer) “Are jab hum nahi cigarette chod sake, to tum kya chodoge? Heyyyeee !”
(Writer) “Hum janate hai, ki aaj kal hamare joint peene ko pasand nahi kiya jaata.”
(Writer) “Isi liye, hamari kuch time ke baad jagah change ho jaati hai (alag alag toliet me)”
(Writer) “Ha ! Lekin, hamari itani badaliyo baad bhi, hum nahi badale …. Ha ! Ha !”
(Writer) “Isliye, yaad rakho, yeh mat samazhana ki tum jo pakadana chahate ho, uski khabar hame nahi milti.”
(Writer) “Hamaari aaknhai, is Mall me charo taraf dekh rahi hai. Ghadi ghadi ki aankhai hame dikh jaati hai.”
(Writer) “Hamare rehte hue, yaha ek bhi cigarette bina rolling paper ke jal nahi sakti. Ha ! Ha !”
(Writer) “Oyyy ! Oyyy ! Yeh kya chutiyapa tha?”
(Havaldar) “Cigarete Landurrr, Cigarette. Gir gayi toilet me”.
…. And he drops his cigarette in the toilet.
(Writer) “Fuck, Jaldi nikaal, Bhosadike, jaldi.”
(Writer) “Chod jaanede. Gayi andar ab.“
(Writer) “Ajj ke liye itana chutiyapa kaafi hai. Ab dusari cigarette nikaal sakte hai. Nikalo!”
He, to himself, “Sholey chod, Saale. Focus on your Sholey. Jaldi bana aur jalaaaaaa ==” "
“Lekin, kya baat hai bhidu, tu to waqai me writer ban gaya, bhenchoooddd !”
He roll up the joint, a nice and sleek one. And then he suddenly gets confidence and decides “Apun aaj yeh joint Smoking Lounge me piyega, nahi darega !”. … “Abe, chutiye, isme darne layak kuch hai hi nahi. Its just tobacco.”
He heads to the Smoking Lounge.
Just before entering the lounge, he hears a sweet voice. “Are bhaiya, jaldi se dedo paise wapis. Muzhe jaana hai.”
Bas, he stops there. Its a Smoke Shop just outside the Smoking Lounge. And the sweet voice was her's.
And She enters in the story.
He looks towards the voice and sees her. “Ohhh ! Mama Miya ! Yeh to Air Hostess hai.🧍♀️” And then he says the dialog in his mind, “Chodega Nahi Salaa !”
She is having a funny confrontation with the shop owner about the change to be returned.
She is a pretty woman. Dressed very neatly, hair properly combed with the hostess hat placed on her head like the Princess Crown. Her skin colour has a very light chocolate colour touch, not just normal grey. And she has a very unique voice and a bit loud one. She is not shy at all. Aakhir sutta marnewali jo thehari!
He stops there and starts looking at them, with a naughty smile on his face. I told you at start, “He is a cunning flirt. But a descent one. And really a good one ! Mind It !”
She is explaining the shop owner, “Are bhaiyya, aap bas muzhe 20 rupaye wapis dedo. Muzhe jaldi jaan hai.”
The shop owner is an old man trying to do the hisaab kitaab.
And He, the opportunist, jumps into the conversation, “Are bhaisaab, bas aap 20 dedo inko. Yeh jaldi me hai, inko flight pakadani hogi.”
No reply from her.
He understands that “Yahase kalti maarne ka time aa gaya hai”. So he says, “Anyway, fly safe, ba-byee!”.
And she replies, “Nahi, I just landed. Ab bas ghar jaldi jaan chahati hu”.
Nothing comes in his mind on how to react or reply to this. And he says, “Isiliye mene bola, Fly Safe !”.
Lambiiiii khamoshiiiii !!!
He, to himself, “Yeh kya chutiyapa tha be? Yeh kya bakchodi kar di be? Bas ab maar kalti.”
He goes inside the smoking lounge. Thinking, “Failya diya na rayta. Saale, aise moke baar baar nahi aate. Woh bhi air hostess ke saath. Ab phook.”
He is about to light his rolled cigarette and she enters the smoking lounge with her male friend. He is suddenly energised again. He smiles at her, she smiles back. She sits on the 3 chaired stainless steel sitting.
And, “Thhuddd !!!!”. Awaaz.
He, again the opportunist, says “Sambhalke, chair tooti hui hai.”
She, really wanting to reply, “Are koi nahi. Hame aadat hai. Roj ka hai.”
He, in his mind, “Roz ka hi hai? Matalb, yeh baar baar idhar aati hai. Bas khel ja bhiduuuu.”
As he is a stylish man, he stands leaned on a platform, cross legged, with the rolled cigarette in hand. He lights it. And holds it like a beedi. And he wears his glasses. Styles up !
She is sitting on the chair with her legs crossed. A sweet smile on her face. She sees the rolled cigarette and asks him, “Yeh kya hai? Is it a joint?”.
He, “Ha ha ! Nahi ! Its just plain tobacco in it. Muzhe aisehi peena pasand hai. Aur woh bhi beedi ki tarah.”
She, “Can I?”
He, “Are kyu nahi yaar. Be my guest.”
She smokes it. And says, “Wakai me sirf tobacco hai.” She smiles and she gives it back to him.
He, “Kaash, yeh woh waala joint hota.”
She, smiles and says “Kaash.”
He, “Next time jab hum mile to me chahata hu ki me Rolling Paper leke aau aur aap Rolling Tobacco 🍁, woh wala.”
She, “Hmmm, jaroor.”
She, “Lekin hamara bhi strict checking hota hai.”
He, “Koi nahi, me hi leke aaunga phir.”
She smiles with a thumbs up.
Suddenly, her friend says, “Mene aapko upar 4rd floor pe kaafi baar dekha hai. App waha kaam kare ho?”.
He, “Ha. I am a software developer. I work from there, the co-working space, as mine is a fully remote job.”
She, “4rd floor?”
Her friend, “Ha. Jaha apna office hai.”
She, “Ohhh! Achcha.”
He asks her firnd, “Dost, tum nahi peete?”
Her friend, “Chod di.”
She, “Lekin yeh passive smoking karta hai, yaha mere saath. Jab chodani hi thi to pakadi kyu?”
He, “Nahi dost. Achcha hua chod di. Mat lagana aadat wapis.” He is an honest man. And he stands his ground even against the pretty Air Hostess.
She starts talking a bit loudly with her male friend.
She, “Yeh le. Yeh hot chocolate hai. Ise garam paani me mila, thoda sa doodh daal. Bas ho gaya tera hot chocolate.”
And then …. she hands over a packet of the hot chocolate to him. “Yeh leejiye aap ke liye.”
He takes it (like a love letter) and says, “Are, bahot bahot shukriya”. Tries to impress her with his hindi.
He, to himself, “Sab saale English bolte hai. Me kuch alag karunga. Me jyada se jyada hindi bolunga.” Continues. “Chutiye ! Kyu ki achchi English aati nahi tereko.”
He, “Muzhe laga aapki flight hai.”
She, “No no. I just landed. Ab bas ghar jaana chahati hu ek sutta maar ke”.
He, in his mind, “Sutta ! Kya baat hai. Ladki ekdam bindhast hai. Sutta bolti hai. Aur maal bhi phookati hai.”
He, “Kaha pe rehte ho?”
She, “Yahi paas me, about 3-4 KM from here.”
He, the cunning flirt, “Chalo, aapne muzhe yeh hot chocolate diya, isi baat pe, aisa socho ki aapko aapke sapano ka shehjaada mil jaaye aapke next flight me.” With that he takes the name of a famous actor and tries to relate to her name, as in one of the movies the actress had the same name as her.
She, “Nahi, muzhe bilkul pasand nahi woh.”
He, “To jo aapkio pasand hai waisa wala mil jaaye.”
She, “By the way, you should have said **** ko uska **** mil jaye, not the actual actor name. Toh me jaldi samazh jaati.”
He, “Oho, Beauty with Brains ! Smart Woman !”. He then extends his hand to clap with her.
She claps on his hand.
He, the kameena, says to her friend, “Bhai, tum bhi taali dena. Nahito bologe ki sirf ladaki ko taali di.” Her friend also claps on his hand.
She, to her friend, “Lo tum bhi muzhe taali dena. Nahito bologe ki sirf us ladke ko taali di.” She smiles at He and laughs.
He, in his mind, “Kya baat hai ! Yeh bandi bhi khiladi nikali.”
He, “BTW, aapka naam?”
She, “Shows her name tag clipped on her dress just below her shoulder line and says ****** !”.
She, “Sab log idhar dekhate hai aur jaan jaate hai mere naam.”
He, “I am really sorry. But, mene aapko aapke chehare ke neeche dekha hi nahi.”
She blushes. She puts her left palm on her face. Sharamaake hasti hai … hindusthani ladki.
I told you, he is a cunning flirt. But a really good one.
He, “Honestly, nahi dekha.”
One more cunning flirt punch 👊.
She blushes more and laughs. Aur jyada sharama jaati hai.
He, “Next time jab aap milo to me chahunga ki me aapko maal pilau.”
He, “Aur aap rolling tobacco leke aao. Jaise abhi yeh hot chocolate leke aaye ho.”
She, “Bahot strict ho gaya hai checking ab.”
He, “Koi nahi. Me leke aaunga dono, rolling paper and rolling tobacco. Aur woh bhi isi hot chocolate ke packet me jo aapne diya hai.”
She smiles.
She then smokes her cigarette and says Bye to him and gets out of the smoking lounge.
He, in his mind, "Kuch kar Chutiye ! Kuch kar. Gayi woh." … “Soch …” “Kuch to soch …”
He then gets out of the lounge and goes to her, she standing in front of the lift, and says, “Me na stories likh raha hu. Apppe bhi ek likhunga. Yeh jo bhi converstaion hamne kiya usko leke. Aur chahunga ki woh aap padho.”
She, “Jaroor ! Lekin mere naam mat lena story me.”
He, “Wada raha. Me kisika naam nahi likhunga story me.”
She, “Bye!”
He, “Bye!”
He then starts writing the story. But, story writing is not a joke. Its taking considerable days to write it down.
One day, She appears in the office on 4th floor. She is walking with her friends in the lobby and he waves at her.
She, “Hi !” Extends her hand for a handshake.
He extends his hands in a punch style to impress her and says, “Just punch! Kahi appke haath maile na ho jaye.”
She, “Smiles and punches, instead of a handshake.”
He, “Flying? Or done?”
She, “Done, ab seedha ghar.”
He, “Ek sutta maar ke.”
She, smiles, “Ha! Sutta mandatory hai.”
He, “Sahi hai. I will not disturb you. Enjoy your sutta.”
She goes with her friends.
He, to himself, “Abe Chutiye! Wapis wohi. Kab ladaki ko baato me ulzhana seekhoge be?”
He immediately locks his laptop and heads straight towards the Smoking Lounge.
She is standing outside the Smoking lounge with her friends to buy the Ciggi ==".
He goes there and says, “Actually me chodana chah raha hu. Lekin tum logo ke dekhkar wapis peene ka man kiya. Aur aa gaya.”
They all enter the Smoking Lounge.
She is speaking with her friends and He is sitting on a bench. She keeps glancing at Him in between.
He, “Mene aapka hot chocolate abhibhi sambhal ke rakha hai. Jis din me story complete karunga us din piunga.”
She, smiles, points to her friend and “Yeh hamare upar story likh rahe hai.”
He, “Tum sab pe nahi, sirf tum pe.” Point blank 🔫. This time He is direct. No bakawas, seedha mudde pe.
She blushes ☺️.
She finishes her Sutta and goes with her friend with a un-said and un-waved Bye through Her stare at Him.
Few days pass by.
He is sitting in the office on 4th floor in the office cafe and suddenly sees her talking to her friend, sitting on another table. He waves at her.
She, “Hi ! How are you?” Extends her hand for a handshake.
He extends his hands in a punch style to impress her and says, “Just punch! Kahi appke haath maile na ho jaye.”
She, “Smiles and punches, instead of a handshake.”
She, “Meri flight bahot late ho gayi hai aaj. Bore ho gayi hu wait kar kar ke.”
He in his mind, “Saala, iski flight ude hi nahi aaj.”
He, “Then enjoy your me time.”
She, “Yeh kaisa me time. Meri flight jaldi schedule ho jaye, bas.”
She starts going back to her friend. He suddenly, “Suno ! Ek minute.”
She comes back.
He, “Once I complete the story, then we will smoke a joint together. Aur woh wala joint 🍁. Pakka !”
She, “Yes! Pakka!”
He, “Lekin me chahunga ki aap kisiki saath me leke aaye.”
She, “Ha, Dont worry, Yeh hai na.” She points to her friend.
He, “Kyuki muzhe dar lagta hai. Joint peeke, kahi akele ladke ko dekhake aap muzhe ched na do.” Saala kameena kahika.
Again, She blushes and laughs, with a stare. And goes back to her friend.
After a while, moke ka fayada uthate hue, He goes to her and shows the initial draft of the story with the Title, Subtitle and the Ending line to her. And says, “Mene kaha tha na, story likhunga. Likhana chalu kar diay hai mene.”
Shows her the draft for a quick glance.
She, “Are kuch dikh nahi raha. Chashma nahi pehna mene.”
He moves the Laptop very close to her so that She can read. She reads the Title, Subtitle and the Ending lines and smiles back with a mix of a blush in it. She somehow connects with him after reading the lines.
He, “I want some performance pressure. So showing it to you. So that I will finish it as early as possible.” And goes back to his table and resumes writing.
A few days pass. He and She dont cross each other at all. But He continues writing the story for Her.
And one day, He completes the story. And wants to show her. But, She is no where to find. She is always flying and their schedules dont match. But He is very optimistic and knows that one day The Story will find Her.
Relieved, He decides to go back to the same Smoking Lounge and smoke a Ciggi ==", Rolling Paper wali.
He enters the Smoking Lounge.
And guess what?
She is standing with her back towards He and smoking her cigarette.
He gently goes near to her from her back side and says “Joint peena hai? 🍁 !”
She turns back, surprised and happy at the same time, to see him back. She smiles and stares at him.
She, “Joint?”
He, “Ha ! Mene kaha tha na. Jis din me Story complete karunga, us din hum saath me Joint peeyenge ==".”
She, very happy to meet him and happy to hear that He has completed the Story on Her. “Wow! Aapne complete kee. Dikhao.”
She, opens the website.
He, “Me chahata hu ki yeh story tum baad me padhna. Akele me. Woh bhi, mast Sutta maarte hue, sofe pe baith ke, ya bed pe lete hue.”
He, “Abhi hum Joint peete hai.”
And then pulls out a thermos and the hot chocolate pouch. The same pouch which She had given him the first time they met.
Absolutely speechless, She just stares at him and keeps staring at him. She cannot move her eyes away from him anymore.
He gently pores the milk in two glasses and adds some sugar. Opens the pouch and pores the hot chocolate in the glasses. Mixes them well and hands one to her.
He pulls out the Rolling Paper and a cigarette for the tobacco.
She, without saying anything, pulls out the Rolling Tobacco from her purse and offers him.
He & She just smile back at each other.
And, they start rolling together =="